You Know You Are Addicted to Coffee If...
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You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You sleep with your eyes open.

You've worn out your third
pair of shoes this week.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

You chew other people's fingernails.

You can type sixty words
per minute with your feet.

You can jump start your car without cables.

You don't sweat... you percolate.

Instant coffee takes too long to make.

You channel surf faster without the remote.

You have a picture of your
coffee mug on your coffee mug.

You short out motion detectors.

You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

You answer the door before people knock.

You walk twenty miles on your treadmill
before you realize it's not plugged in.

You've built a miniature city
out of little plastic stirrers.

You get a speeding ticket
even when you are parked.

The only time you are standing
still is during an earthquake.